Of course people want kids. They just can’t afford them and don’t see an available path towards ensuring they have a decent future.
drugaddictedloser1 on
With the rise of DINK lifestyles, there is very little incentive for people to want children. Family life is a sacrifice, but well worth it if you want kids.
wewfarmer on
Every nation sees birth rates plummet as education increases. Money is a factor for some, but even wealth has little bearing on birth rates in western nations.
People just don’t want to have kids. It’s a gigantic sacrifice and not a necessity like it is in less wealthy nations.
darth_glorfinwald on
I’ll take some kids, thanks for asking. If Trudeau offers a $2K a month for 18 years Child-Rearing Grant I’ll happily vote Liberal in the next election and vote Liberal for 18 years until I start voting Conservative and bitterly complain about how my taxes are going to pay for someone else’s kid.
mistermarpole on
The people I see with 3 plus kids are religious, and often immigrant families. Sure others ‘want’ them, like I want a yacht, but don’t want to sacrifice time and finances for them.
Intrepid_Ad322 on
I think I want kids, but more important is finding somebody I want to keep in my life longer than a few years, to have kids *with.* While I’m fully willing to admit I’m not perfect, and am putting in as much work as I need to, for as long as I need to, in order to *be* perfect (or as close as I can be), it’s a nightmare out there until I am.
swampswing on
The relationship scene is weird. I know a bunch of people in their 30s who can afford kids, but can’t find a partner (they spent their 20s building their careers instead of being social or dating), and I know a ton of people in their 30s with decade long relationships who have been saying for at least half that time that they want marriage and kids, but can’t afford it.
ndneejej on
The juice is not worth the squeeze.
Cautious_Ice_884 on
I want a family, I only want one kid though, I can’t imagine going through the birthing experience more than once.
The biggest challenge I face is finding a partner. Finding an equal partner, who I can really be with for the long haul, in a loving healthy relationship is the goal. Its tough to find.
Glacial_Shield_W on
This is the wrong question.
Yes. People still want kids.
Can we have them?
For the middle class, it is becoming more of a pipe dream. The upper class almost always has less kids.
The correct question is: Why are people choosing to not have kids?
I want kids, but I haven’t had any. I am in the upper 5% of earners for my age, with no debt. But, I cannot afford a house. My partner can’t afford to take time off work to have a baby (and I can’t take paternity leave). We are both not traveling, not vacationing, and saving money as much as we can, but the idea of putting a kid in sports, or buying them instruments, or even properly feeding them feels like it’s impossible right now. Basically, I am scraping by to try to buy a small house. I can’t afford to do anything fun for myself and I couldn’t provide that for my kid. I’d even have concerns about providing essentials. I will not have a child that cannot live their life, because I am an inadequate parent financially and time wise. And many people my age feel that way.
Thewhirlwindblitz on
My husband and I could afford kids. But I’m not willing to give up my autonomy to raise them. Plus, we like being able to do what we want, when we want.
simplyintentional on
I can’t afford them even if I wanted them so the choice has been taken away from me.
It gets further away each and every year the cost of living continues to grow at a much faster rate than my wages.
The cost of rent makes everything else impossible and I don’t have any more hours in the day to work more than I do.
mikefjr1300 on
My newly married son has a $2800/month mortgage. There is no money left over to start a family, that simple.
SlapThatAce on
Personally, I dislike kids but I’ll thank the people that do have them for keep the humankind going.
KeySpace333 on
Even if we wanted one we couldn’t afford one lmao Any nation or species that embraces peak capitalism deserves to die out.
CompetitiveMetal3 on
I moved to Canada because I wanted to have kids in a safe country.
Country isn’t safe as it used to. Can’t afford kids.
Oh well. It is what it is.
MacFukes on
Definitely an affordability issue for many especially if it means looking for a larger place to live. Other compounding factors can also be conflict with work culture/ambitions and climate dystopia,
99skyline on
I don’t. Can put the money potentially spent on them into travel, health self improvement, retirement, investment etc.
incarnate_devil on
When I got married we bought a house in the ‘burbs, and had a family.
Without a stable place to live, no one wants kids.
I couldn’t do today what I did 25 years ago.
What school will they go to? Doctors, dentist, sports and outside family all play a part in where you want to live and raise a family.
You want to plan for your future families needs.
If you don’t have stability you don’t want to add to that burden.
DearAuntAgnes on
As I woman I grew up knowing I had a choice – I had the freedom to work or not work. To stay at home and raise a family. Maybe work part time. I knew I had a *choice*. But now, it seems, the choice is gone. There is so much pressure for a woman to be career driven. God forbid you choose to stay home to raise children, if you can afford to. You’re “setting a bad example”. There’s no winning here. The ideal societal setting for women wanting to raise children is *gone*. I see a lot of new mothers crying “where’s my village?”. Your village is at work.
ImOnYourWiFi on
You see so many of these articles and it really doesn’t seem so complicated. In an urban society kids are a burden on parents. If you want people to have more kids then you have to make it easier for them. You can debate the how of that all day long. If people feel optimistic and secure about their future then more children will follow. Regretfully that is not the trend we have seen in recent history.
RoyallyOakie on
People can’t easily afford food and shelter, kids are a pipe dream.
dwelzy123 on
We decided to have kids. Ended up with two beautiful girls, but it’s harder then expected. We expected and planned for life to get more expensive and harder, but not to the degree it has become over the last 5 years or so. We still consider ourselves very fortunate, as we still have our physical health and one steady job.
MeatballsMadeOfPoo on
I eat one meal a day because it’s too expensive to live
Weird Im not having kids though I guess.
ShiftyGorillla on
I’d love to have a kid, I would not however love subjecting a child to poverty.
darkestvice on
Want? Yes. But I’m in my late 40s, so too late for me. And yes, I know I still can, but I want to date women closer to my age.
EKcore on
I had kids based on the social supports and encouragements of extended family, just be for covid. we’ve seen my spouses parents 3 times in 5 years.
We are still on our own.
If I could do it again I would never have had kids.
Fuck the species.
wet_faart on
No fucking shit! Look at the price of baby formula and diapers. The Kirkland signature baby formula went from $17 to $29 to be completely out of stock and now it’s back at $49. It’s fucking expensive to have a child in Canada and I feel fucking guilty for not being able to start a RESP till my son was 12 months old
Smokiwestie on
Hard to find someone you can put up with for life to have kids with these days.
Also kids are ridiculously expensive. But lets say people can make an arguement they aren’t, fine. What makes it almost impossible is me or my wife taking mat/pat leave for a year or 18 months when we can barely afford to survive with both incomes (with decent jobs).
Not to mention saving for their education, helping them get on their own feet, etc.
TigreSauvage on
I’d rather be richer and enjoy my life before I die than have kids. But that’s just me.
VonBoski on
Saw over a decade ago that this is no longer a world you can arbitrarily reproduce into. The confirmation bias has been refreshing
doodlebopwarrior on
After everything I “need” to pay (bills/insurance/groceries/etc…) I have $34 a day to spend on myself and my wife.
That $34 has to pay for fuel/snacks/anything else that’s a “want”.
If I have a kid it just ruins my QOL and my kids QOL. No thanks.
doomscrolling_tiktok on
Idk but I feel like this gets announced every few months. Did the editor think people will pop out a bunch of kids in the months between they recycle the article? Or go from nah to heck yeah and throw out their condoms in that amount of time?
high5scubad1ve on
Housing and childcare are blamed too much. My father came from 11 siblings in the late 50s. They were poor and none had their own bedroom. They also had birth control methods and didn’t need any of those kids to work a farm.
Social norms have been decreasing family sizes for decades bc it’s not a highly valued experience or a required element for personal fulfillment.
chin06 on
My fiance and I want kids. We know it’ll be harder on us financially but we’re open to the idea. If we can’t have them, then that’s fine too. I’m well into my 30s so might have no more than 2 if I do have any. There was a time when I wanted 5 kids haha but not in this day and age, and especially not at my age lol
I think that (my opinion on average) even if Canadians had enough wealth, they wouldn’t have kids because that money could be better spent on making their own lives better. DINKs are becoming more acceptable in society and even some single people see that relationships and families are not for them. I don’t think this is just true for Canada though – it’s a global issue at least in other first world countries. I believe a lot of countries in Africa have high fertility rates, but I don’t know if that’s due to poverty, low access to birth control, or other factors like religion and culture.
Fun_Policy_2643 on
Mine are available.
ZaymeJ on
I’m 7 months pregnant and my husband and I really wanted kids, it took a while to get pregnant but we are excited for it. He works a blue collar job and makes a decent salary for his skills and I work a white collar job that required a bachelors degree and designation.
Of course we’ve got fears about how our lives are going to change and about starting so much later than our parents (we are mid 30’s) but we are so glad we waited and found one another and hadn’t settled with someone else, and we’re trusting that the joy and life experience from becoming parents is going to outweigh the sacrifices we’re making.
Haven’t met too many parents who regret their children even when it’s not a perfect situation either.
I also respect the people who do not want to have kids. It is not for everyone.
Temporary_Second3290 on
It’s isn’t just economic reasons, the world is in chaos. To raise the next generation, you have to have some kind of hope for the future. If you can’t see a future of good things, why would you have a child?
DystopianNPC on
I wanted kids. I wanted a bunch of kids.
Why do I not have any?
For one I’m single. I never met a man who I clicked with.
I rarely have time to go on dates as I have a full time job that I need to commute to even though it can easily be done from home.
I tried to prioritize my love life in 2020 but COVID put an end to that pretty quick.
Now I find that as a single person working a well paying full time job I can’t afford even to rent an apartment. I am also seeing everyone with kids constantly struggling with demands. Inefficient daycare that’s expensive and not available when it’s needed, employers that force employees to commute into the office when they don’t need to leading to them needing before and after school care for kids. Rising expenses leading to families constantly struggling. Employers that don’t provide enough sick days to accomodate the constant revolving door that are illnesses in kids. Couples with unequal division of labour leading to one of the two doing the majority of the work.
I’m now at an age where if I had kids I would end up with young ones in my 50s and thats not something I want.
But honestly at this point in my life why would anyone want kids?
rawboudin on
It’s not purely a question of money. It’s a question of priorities based on money. People would rather spend their money on something else. And that’s fine.
seekup41 on
For me it’s as simple as I can’t stand being around children and would never feel any different. Happy to have found someone who doesn’t want to have children. It’s just us and that’s all we want in our life.
Delicious_Mobile5122 on
One thing that doesn’t get talked about enough is the loss of hope in today’s world. There was a time when things felt like they were getting better—people could afford housing, cars, and basic necessities. But since I was born in 1999, everything has gotten worse: the climate, economy, education—everything. It’s all more competitive and harder to survive.
We grew up with an anti-birth narrative, and now, with birth control, the lack of hope is driving people’s decisions. Why bring a child into a future that I know will be even worse than my own already poor quality of life?
Do we really love our children? If we did, would the world be this bleak? As Scott Galloway mentioned in his TED Talk, we’re actively setting future generations up for failure. Personally, I don’t want to have children as a way of saying, “screw you” to the system and watching it burn. Congratulations, baby boomers—you won.
It’s money, and time. It’s that simple. Canada has priced itself into a corner. We need major change at all levels of society. Might be too late.
miccleb on
One thing I’ve noticed is that having children has become a lifestyle rather than a default fact of life.
People used to have kids, they would incorporate the kids into their lives, and their lives would not revolve around the kids. Things still needed to get done, and kids were there.
Today, the lifestyle between child free and having children tends to be very drastically different, and a lot of people that I know consider long and hard what is expected when they have kids and decide not to have them, or put it off indefinitely.
A big factor I’ve noticed for those I know with kids is that they have a support system. People I know without kids don’t have confidence that they will have a support system and expect they would have to give up most of their time or buy support.
This is a very complex issue with many factors involved, most of which are already listed in this thread and the 100s of others like it.
Gingorthedestroyer on
You will now have fewer children because young couples aren’t able to buy homes. That is what was sold to us, get an education, get married buy a house, have children. The government broke the social contact with the youth and now they get to reap what they sow.
num_ber_four on
I didn’t move into a house until I was 40. I’ll fucking adopt
MinerReddit on
It’s very simple and seen in almost every country that gains wealth and raises population out of poverty. Humans on average don’t prioritize to raise kids. Period. Look at all of these comments. So many use words like it’s too much of a sacrifice referring to freedom, career, leisure, health etc. The perceived value and desire to raise a child and build a family doesn’t exceed the value/desire for those other items that may need to be sacrificed. Sure there are individual situations where maybe it isn’t true but the average and birthrates are the proof. We say life is tough now to raise kids ( which is so true) but birthdates were already low for like 40 years. So all these people saying if they had it like the 80s and 90s it would be different. Well guess what – it wasn’t!
Is this bad? I am not sure but we will see impacts and are seeing them all over the world and the population skews differently.
48 Comments
Of course people want kids. They just can’t afford them and don’t see an available path towards ensuring they have a decent future.
With the rise of DINK lifestyles, there is very little incentive for people to want children. Family life is a sacrifice, but well worth it if you want kids.
Every nation sees birth rates plummet as education increases. Money is a factor for some, but even wealth has little bearing on birth rates in western nations.
People just don’t want to have kids. It’s a gigantic sacrifice and not a necessity like it is in less wealthy nations.
I’ll take some kids, thanks for asking. If Trudeau offers a $2K a month for 18 years Child-Rearing Grant I’ll happily vote Liberal in the next election and vote Liberal for 18 years until I start voting Conservative and bitterly complain about how my taxes are going to pay for someone else’s kid.
The people I see with 3 plus kids are religious, and often immigrant families. Sure others ‘want’ them, like I want a yacht, but don’t want to sacrifice time and finances for them.
I think I want kids, but more important is finding somebody I want to keep in my life longer than a few years, to have kids *with.* While I’m fully willing to admit I’m not perfect, and am putting in as much work as I need to, for as long as I need to, in order to *be* perfect (or as close as I can be), it’s a nightmare out there until I am.
The relationship scene is weird. I know a bunch of people in their 30s who can afford kids, but can’t find a partner (they spent their 20s building their careers instead of being social or dating), and I know a ton of people in their 30s with decade long relationships who have been saying for at least half that time that they want marriage and kids, but can’t afford it.
The juice is not worth the squeeze.
I want a family, I only want one kid though, I can’t imagine going through the birthing experience more than once.
The biggest challenge I face is finding a partner. Finding an equal partner, who I can really be with for the long haul, in a loving healthy relationship is the goal. Its tough to find.
This is the wrong question.
Yes. People still want kids.
Can we have them?
For the middle class, it is becoming more of a pipe dream. The upper class almost always has less kids.
The correct question is: Why are people choosing to not have kids?
I want kids, but I haven’t had any. I am in the upper 5% of earners for my age, with no debt. But, I cannot afford a house. My partner can’t afford to take time off work to have a baby (and I can’t take paternity leave). We are both not traveling, not vacationing, and saving money as much as we can, but the idea of putting a kid in sports, or buying them instruments, or even properly feeding them feels like it’s impossible right now. Basically, I am scraping by to try to buy a small house. I can’t afford to do anything fun for myself and I couldn’t provide that for my kid. I’d even have concerns about providing essentials. I will not have a child that cannot live their life, because I am an inadequate parent financially and time wise. And many people my age feel that way.
My husband and I could afford kids. But I’m not willing to give up my autonomy to raise them. Plus, we like being able to do what we want, when we want.
I can’t afford them even if I wanted them so the choice has been taken away from me.
It gets further away each and every year the cost of living continues to grow at a much faster rate than my wages.
The cost of rent makes everything else impossible and I don’t have any more hours in the day to work more than I do.
My newly married son has a $2800/month mortgage. There is no money left over to start a family, that simple.
Personally, I dislike kids but I’ll thank the people that do have them for keep the humankind going.
Even if we wanted one we couldn’t afford one lmao Any nation or species that embraces peak capitalism deserves to die out.
I moved to Canada because I wanted to have kids in a safe country.
Country isn’t safe as it used to. Can’t afford kids.
Oh well. It is what it is.
Definitely an affordability issue for many especially if it means looking for a larger place to live. Other compounding factors can also be conflict with work culture/ambitions and climate dystopia,
I don’t. Can put the money potentially spent on them into travel, health self improvement, retirement, investment etc.
When I got married we bought a house in the ‘burbs, and had a family.
Without a stable place to live, no one wants kids.
I couldn’t do today what I did 25 years ago.
What school will they go to? Doctors, dentist, sports and outside family all play a part in where you want to live and raise a family.
You want to plan for your future families needs.
If you don’t have stability you don’t want to add to that burden.
As I woman I grew up knowing I had a choice – I had the freedom to work or not work. To stay at home and raise a family. Maybe work part time. I knew I had a *choice*. But now, it seems, the choice is gone. There is so much pressure for a woman to be career driven. God forbid you choose to stay home to raise children, if you can afford to. You’re “setting a bad example”. There’s no winning here. The ideal societal setting for women wanting to raise children is *gone*. I see a lot of new mothers crying “where’s my village?”. Your village is at work.
You see so many of these articles and it really doesn’t seem so complicated. In an urban society kids are a burden on parents. If you want people to have more kids then you have to make it easier for them. You can debate the how of that all day long. If people feel optimistic and secure about their future then more children will follow. Regretfully that is not the trend we have seen in recent history.
People can’t easily afford food and shelter, kids are a pipe dream.
We decided to have kids. Ended up with two beautiful girls, but it’s harder then expected. We expected and planned for life to get more expensive and harder, but not to the degree it has become over the last 5 years or so. We still consider ourselves very fortunate, as we still have our physical health and one steady job.
I eat one meal a day because it’s too expensive to live
Weird Im not having kids though I guess.
I’d love to have a kid, I would not however love subjecting a child to poverty.
Want? Yes. But I’m in my late 40s, so too late for me. And yes, I know I still can, but I want to date women closer to my age.
I had kids based on the social supports and encouragements of extended family, just be for covid. we’ve seen my spouses parents 3 times in 5 years.
We are still on our own.
If I could do it again I would never have had kids.
Fuck the species.
No fucking shit! Look at the price of baby formula and diapers. The Kirkland signature baby formula went from $17 to $29 to be completely out of stock and now it’s back at $49. It’s fucking expensive to have a child in Canada and I feel fucking guilty for not being able to start a RESP till my son was 12 months old
Hard to find someone you can put up with for life to have kids with these days.
Also kids are ridiculously expensive. But lets say people can make an arguement they aren’t, fine. What makes it almost impossible is me or my wife taking mat/pat leave for a year or 18 months when we can barely afford to survive with both incomes (with decent jobs).
Not to mention saving for their education, helping them get on their own feet, etc.
I’d rather be richer and enjoy my life before I die than have kids. But that’s just me.
Saw over a decade ago that this is no longer a world you can arbitrarily reproduce into. The confirmation bias has been refreshing
After everything I “need” to pay (bills/insurance/groceries/etc…) I have $34 a day to spend on myself and my wife.
That $34 has to pay for fuel/snacks/anything else that’s a “want”.
If I have a kid it just ruins my QOL and my kids QOL. No thanks.
Idk but I feel like this gets announced every few months. Did the editor think people will pop out a bunch of kids in the months between they recycle the article? Or go from nah to heck yeah and throw out their condoms in that amount of time?
Housing and childcare are blamed too much. My father came from 11 siblings in the late 50s. They were poor and none had their own bedroom. They also had birth control methods and didn’t need any of those kids to work a farm.
Social norms have been decreasing family sizes for decades bc it’s not a highly valued experience or a required element for personal fulfillment.
My fiance and I want kids. We know it’ll be harder on us financially but we’re open to the idea. If we can’t have them, then that’s fine too. I’m well into my 30s so might have no more than 2 if I do have any. There was a time when I wanted 5 kids haha but not in this day and age, and especially not at my age lol
I think that (my opinion on average) even if Canadians had enough wealth, they wouldn’t have kids because that money could be better spent on making their own lives better. DINKs are becoming more acceptable in society and even some single people see that relationships and families are not for them. I don’t think this is just true for Canada though – it’s a global issue at least in other first world countries. I believe a lot of countries in Africa have high fertility rates, but I don’t know if that’s due to poverty, low access to birth control, or other factors like religion and culture.
Mine are available.
I’m 7 months pregnant and my husband and I really wanted kids, it took a while to get pregnant but we are excited for it. He works a blue collar job and makes a decent salary for his skills and I work a white collar job that required a bachelors degree and designation.
Of course we’ve got fears about how our lives are going to change and about starting so much later than our parents (we are mid 30’s) but we are so glad we waited and found one another and hadn’t settled with someone else, and we’re trusting that the joy and life experience from becoming parents is going to outweigh the sacrifices we’re making.
Haven’t met too many parents who regret their children even when it’s not a perfect situation either.
I also respect the people who do not want to have kids. It is not for everyone.
It’s isn’t just economic reasons, the world is in chaos. To raise the next generation, you have to have some kind of hope for the future. If you can’t see a future of good things, why would you have a child?
I wanted kids. I wanted a bunch of kids.
Why do I not have any?
For one I’m single. I never met a man who I clicked with.
I rarely have time to go on dates as I have a full time job that I need to commute to even though it can easily be done from home.
I tried to prioritize my love life in 2020 but COVID put an end to that pretty quick.
Now I find that as a single person working a well paying full time job I can’t afford even to rent an apartment. I am also seeing everyone with kids constantly struggling with demands. Inefficient daycare that’s expensive and not available when it’s needed, employers that force employees to commute into the office when they don’t need to leading to them needing before and after school care for kids. Rising expenses leading to families constantly struggling. Employers that don’t provide enough sick days to accomodate the constant revolving door that are illnesses in kids. Couples with unequal division of labour leading to one of the two doing the majority of the work.
I’m now at an age where if I had kids I would end up with young ones in my 50s and thats not something I want.
But honestly at this point in my life why would anyone want kids?
It’s not purely a question of money. It’s a question of priorities based on money. People would rather spend their money on something else. And that’s fine.
For me it’s as simple as I can’t stand being around children and would never feel any different. Happy to have found someone who doesn’t want to have children. It’s just us and that’s all we want in our life.
One thing that doesn’t get talked about enough is the loss of hope in today’s world. There was a time when things felt like they were getting better—people could afford housing, cars, and basic necessities. But since I was born in 1999, everything has gotten worse: the climate, economy, education—everything. It’s all more competitive and harder to survive.
We grew up with an anti-birth narrative, and now, with birth control, the lack of hope is driving people’s decisions. Why bring a child into a future that I know will be even worse than my own already poor quality of life?
Do we really love our children? If we did, would the world be this bleak? As Scott Galloway mentioned in his TED Talk, we’re actively setting future generations up for failure. Personally, I don’t want to have children as a way of saying, “screw you” to the system and watching it burn. Congratulations, baby boomers—you won.
[link to TED talk](https://www.ted.com/talks/scott_galloway_how_the_us_is_destroying_young_people_s_future?subtitle=en)
Ain’t nobody got time or money for that.
It’s money, and time. It’s that simple. Canada has priced itself into a corner. We need major change at all levels of society. Might be too late.
One thing I’ve noticed is that having children has become a lifestyle rather than a default fact of life.
People used to have kids, they would incorporate the kids into their lives, and their lives would not revolve around the kids. Things still needed to get done, and kids were there.
Today, the lifestyle between child free and having children tends to be very drastically different, and a lot of people that I know consider long and hard what is expected when they have kids and decide not to have them, or put it off indefinitely.
A big factor I’ve noticed for those I know with kids is that they have a support system. People I know without kids don’t have confidence that they will have a support system and expect they would have to give up most of their time or buy support.
This is a very complex issue with many factors involved, most of which are already listed in this thread and the 100s of others like it.
You will now have fewer children because young couples aren’t able to buy homes. That is what was sold to us, get an education, get married buy a house, have children. The government broke the social contact with the youth and now they get to reap what they sow.
I didn’t move into a house until I was 40. I’ll fucking adopt
It’s very simple and seen in almost every country that gains wealth and raises population out of poverty. Humans on average don’t prioritize to raise kids. Period. Look at all of these comments. So many use words like it’s too much of a sacrifice referring to freedom, career, leisure, health etc. The perceived value and desire to raise a child and build a family doesn’t exceed the value/desire for those other items that may need to be sacrificed. Sure there are individual situations where maybe it isn’t true but the average and birthrates are the proof. We say life is tough now to raise kids ( which is so true) but birthdates were already low for like 40 years. So all these people saying if they had it like the 80s and 90s it would be different. Well guess what – it wasn’t!
Is this bad? I am not sure but we will see impacts and are seeing them all over the world and the population skews differently.