Since settling in Australia six years ago, I’ve come to appreciate the country’s stunning landscapes and laid-back lifestyle. However, I’ve encountered a persistent barrier in building lasting friendships outside of my professional network. As someone raised in a culture where genuine connections often develop spontaneously, I find it perplexing that such effortless interactions seem so elusive here.
Recently, while enjoying a leisurely stroll in a local park, I attempted to engage two photographers in conversation. My friendly overture was met with a polite but dismissive response, underscoring a pervasive disconnect between individuals. It’s disheartening to observe that superficial interactions often overshadow deeper connections, leaving one feeling isolated and misunderstood.
Is there an unspoken code of conduct that I’m unaware of? Are Australians inherently more reserved than people from other cultures? Or are we simply too entrenched in our own social circles to make the effort to connect with others? It’s time to question whether we’re truly open to embracing diversity beyond the surface level.
While Australia prides itself on its multiculturalism, it seems that true integration remains elusive. While the workplace may foster a sense of camaraderie, it’s in our personal lives that the true test of our inclusivity lies. It’s time to reevaluate our approach to social interactions and strive for a more genuinely connected society.
What is it really guys?, just blurt it out?
I understand we all are busy and having out own commitments, but giving your little time in a day won’t do any harm.
Source: Southern-Excitement2
12 Comments
> Or are we simply too entrenched in our own social circles to make the effort to connect with others?
It’s that one.
A lot of expats find they have an easier time making friends with other expats, because established Aussie friendship groups can be so hard to crack into. Most people I know, myself included, are still friends with at least a couple of people from high school and I’m in my 40s. It’s probably even more of an issue with younger people who are not as far out from high school.
And honestly, if someone approaches me in a park to strike up a conversation, I’m probably not going to be very open to it either. Especially if I’m with someone else, like these photographers you’re talking about were. I’m there to talk with them, not with random people who wander by. And if I’m by myself, I probably want to be by myself.
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> giving your little time in a day won’t do any harm
It’s not a matter of whether it’s going to do any harm. It’s whether or not people want to give that little time to you, versus getting their tasks for the day done or spending time with people they love and care about. That sounds harsh but it’s just a fact, unfortunately.
you and me both. i’ve given up by now. everyone’s far too busy with their own life, it is what it is.
I mean, there were two people having a conversation and you butted in and just expected to be involved in the conversation. Maybe they just wanted a conversation between themselves and you were interrupting. You’re not entitled to a conversation because you want one. Then you go on this rant on here about superficial interactions and society and all this crap – give it a rest. Would hate to hear you go on a rant when you get rejected for a job or a date or something.
I don’t know how everyone in Australia is with respect to talking to random people, but in your example, I could see why those two photographers might have been dismissive.
Don’t worry there’s no racial discrimination with building relationships, in my personal opinion it’s hard for everyone – or at least for me, who is an Australian. .-. I can relate to how you feel though, a lot of relationships feel superficial and it’s truly devastating. I can’t say why this is happening, but I think it’s mostly due to the digital era.Â
I’ve heard of a few instances where strangers approaching for random conversations just turn out to be members of a cult or some MLM trying to recruit members or subscribers for their organisation. I’m guessing they’ve ruined the idea of a conversation with a stranger.
I think random conversations still stir up in some instances like at events, bars, parties, etc. But I think a stranger in a park or a shop or similar is more likely to be the above case I mentioned.
Are you in Sydney or Melbourne. The bigger the city the less likely people are to just talk. Where do you try to say hello to people? the pub of the supermarket, or god forbid the train.
Some places are more open to socialisation that others.
At least when i was younger, i didnt have much trouble saying hello to people at the pub. As a man, with a woman that would normally end with “I have a boyfriend”, guys I would get a fuck off. Or in either case just have a conversation maybe even end up friends, but the hit to miss was pretty grueling.
I think my female friends found it easier.
How socially brave are you?
Why were you expecting it to be like the place you emigrated from? Why did you immigrate if you don’t like it here?
I’m an approachable guy who get’s into alot of conversations with strangers and my basic tenet is to practice basic goodness whoever I converse with. Like this morning with a retired defence force member. Yes, there is a undercurrent of conscious prejudices going on within certain circles albeit most likely not in your field of resonance. Try striking up a conversation in places of familiarity (coffee shops, supermarkets, gym, your outdoor pursuits and markets) vs transactional places (Sunday’s beach/walks) as this is a time to decompress with family and friends) you might find people maybe open on theses days due to how settle they are in life or they have the capacity to hold a conversation due to the emptiness within thier mental spaces.
Dude are you getting paid per syllable? 😅.
Anyway, I think Hamish Blake summed it up years ago, if you weren’t there in High School, or at the very latest, University, then you’re out of the friendship making zone.
I think because Australia has so few cities and most people live in them, so why move in Australia if you’re already in a big capital city? So why make more friends?
However there are always some outsiders around, they will accept you. People who were born in the city, which is most of them, you missed the friendship cut off and that’s just how it is.
We’re full, go home.
The truth here is we built tribes . It would be easier to find people you have things in common with .
I see this tribalism every day in society and in the workplace . I understand how people can politely shun those not in their groups .
Went to a park this weekend in Doncaster, Melbourne. I counted 3 westerners there including myself. Rest of people speaking Cantonese Mandarin and Vietnamese.
Hard to make any friend in that environment given culture difference.
Call me racist but multiculturalism does not work, specially when there is a dominant culture.
Add people that already have their own friend circle + individualism culture and yep, hard to make friends out of school days.